Drifting

Another Sunday, another week has passed. Time just seems to be drifting forward at the moment. One week I have the kids, the next I don't and so it goes in such a cycle. I'm not really complaining either, I love doing stuff with the kids, even if it is more about taxi-ing them around these days! This weekend has included, birthday gift shopping, party drop-off and football. 

But at the same time, I know in the back of my mind I'm in a malaise and need to buck up my life at some point. Turning 40 in May next year is already weighing on my mind. Every night when I go to bed, I lie there thinking about what I haven't accomplished in the first 39 years (I'm not saying half my life because making it to 80 seems a bit optimistic in all honesty).

 

Grace pre-party blue slushie. Headache just looking at it.

There are so many things I've said to myself over the years I'll do but those ideas have never quite made it to fruition. Chief among those is the desire to write a book of some kind but also record my own record. Or draw more. Or learn to paint. Or...it changes regularly. That's the problem. Focus is not a strong point.

I need to figure it out and I don't have an answer suitable for myself yet. Maybe a start would be to stop looking to YouTube for the answers. I love self-help content but I reckon at this point, it's actually holding me back. My easily-led brain seems to think that because I've watched someone else do it, that's some kind of win for me. Yeah, I know. Dumbass.

I'm also not sure I want to be 40 and making videos for TikTok for a living. It's really not as simple as that but if I had to distil my job down to one sentence, that'd be the easiest way of putting it. It just seems a bit sad. I'm not as bothered about money these days as much as I am credibility, in my own mind at least.

Anyway, I think that's all I want to get out my brain right now from a personal pov.

Sneaky post-match pic of Anna - love seeing her do well at football.

World thoughts

On other matters, I really can't wait for the US presidential election to done with. Harris is clearly the less psychotic candidate but then she's also part of the regime backing Israeli genocide so...it's not a huge difference. My main issue with Trump is the people he seems to enable; the absolute worst kinds of xenophobic, racist scum. With guns. So if I was American and sane, I'd probably opt for Harris but with a large dose of skepticism that my life would change in any way for the better. But I'm not. I'm depressingly British and I doubt the outcome will affect us in any way.

As for the middle east, I wouldn't mind seeing Israel and Iran blow themselves to kingdom come. Sadly, as always, it'll be the ordinary folks in the middle suffering while men in suits give it large from the comfort of an office.